You can't find everything online
Thoughts on my meditation retreat in Japan, noise levels around us, and focusing on what we have control over
Hi friend!
I’ll get to the chase - no video this week. I was producing content for all my channels (mindfulness & daily vlogs for youtube, stories and photo posts on Instagram, Facebook, Medium, this email) and I was not happy with the cacophony of content I was putting out. I’m taking a step to reevaluate my vision & messaging.
Emails will still continue. Something about putting my thoughts into words is so cathartic and all of your replies keep me going strong!
With that, back to my past week at Shoganji-Zen in Japan. (Read my full article on Medium)
So, I pride myself in my ability to find anything and everything through the internet. The best products in any category, most popular vegan eats, and even my whole Eat Pray Love adventure itinerary.
I had gone to Oita, Japan expecting a meditation retreat to deepen my Zen practice. Upon arrival, I immediately noticed the vibe was extremely different when all of the other guests were sitting in the kitchen with their laptops and phones. I am the last person electronics (my whole career was founded in digital), but I found it odd at a meditation retreat.
Coming from a week-long silent meditation Vipassana retreat, I was used to complete silence and zero electronics. My short time practicing Zen in San Francisco also had all of the attendees put away our phones. (We would often hide them under our Zafutons)
This retreat center was unlike any of the reviews or descriptions I read. There was only one meditation session in the morning and was free to do whatever for the rest of the day. A small part of me expected this when I saw “free time” in the example itinerary, but I assumed that there would be teachings and activities to choose from. Nothing.
In the end, I made the most of the opportunity and changed my mindset from meditation retreat to vacation. Over the weekend, the other attendees and I went out to celebrate a birthday with a trip to Beppu to try the local onsen spa (hot spring baths), shabu shabu (hot pot) and karaoke (yelling into mic).
A part of me is still bummed about the whole experience, but it is a reminder that not everything can be found online. Every review has its own bias - good and bad. It ended up being a humbling experience and I am blessed to have made friendships with others who are also on similar paths of growth and self-discovery. In my last email, I wrote about my difficulties with Zen in San Francisco... this makes strike 2/2 for Zen.
Perhaps third time’s a charm?
An Article that Perked Up My Senses
As I'm getting older, I'm becoming more sensitive to sound. Especially in New York, I've noticed restaurants have become as loud as night clubs!
Here is a great Vox piece on the history and evolution of restaurant noise in America and how we can fight back.
TLDR: Measure decibels of venues (I really like NOISH SLM), go early, request another table, turn the music down
If you are dancing the night away, earplugs. Always. A friend recommended me these clear blue earplugs and I absolutely love their sleek look.
If you need serious noise-cancellation, I travel with these bright orange ones. Great for both work & rest.
Starting a Company is Hard!
It would have been amazing to be employee #2 at Google, Facebook, or Apple and live off stock equity forever... but giving it up is exactly what this author did. Sahil Lavingia, Pinterest's 2nd employee, writes about his experiences of leaving early to start his own compnay. For anyone looking to start your own business, this is such a gem to read.
Love the bit about redefining our own definition of success. It's not binary or quantifiable by dollars or people.
For me, success is finding what makes me truly happy - in the work I do, people I surround myself with, and chances I take listening to my heart and soul. Is that quantifiable?
A Graph that Keeps Coming Back
This came up again in James Clear's recent blog post.
In Steven Covey’s best-selling book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (4.1 on Goodreads), he covers the difference between Circle of Concern and Circle of Control. (Great book, by the way)
We often spend time worrying about the Circle of Concern - things that we have little or no control over. Wars, political scandals, celebrity gossip. What we should be focused on is our Circle of Control - what we read, our attitudes, how we spend our time.
Ultimately, we don't have to tip the scale completely to Circle of Control (some reading on current events should be fine), but I often walk away from binging on news feeling exhausted and frustrated. On the flipside, I have never regretted any of the time I spent on personal development. That should be enough of an indicator of where my focus should be.
Quick Podcast Recommendation
I know, I have so many podcasts I enjoy, but I'll make this one quick. I really enjoyed the talk Tim Ferris had with Tobi Lutke (#359), the founder of Shopify, on understanding what "box" you're in (stage of life), trusting in yourself and why we all can learn more from the video game industry. (worth more than Hollywood & sports entertainment combined - woah)
As always, thanks for reading!
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Have a beautiful day!
Metta (loving-kindness),
Steven