It's NOT always rainbows 🌈 and butterflies 🦋

Breaking down at my meditation retreat, why we love distractions, procrastination advice, and book recommendations

Hi friend!

Have been relaxing in Bali, Indonesia for the past week and it is quickly becoming one of my favorite places in the world. The people are extremely kind, food is phenomenal, and rustic temples adorned on every street. (Bali is called "The Island of 1000 Temples") From my experience, Bali has been extremely safe. I accidentally left my phone on top of my scooter motorcycle on a few occasions and they have always been left untouched, even in touristy parts of town.

Every morning, the Balinese perform rituals to open businesses: souvenir shops, restaurants, hotels, you name it. Streets are lined with beautiful baskets (called Canang Sari) filled with rice, flowers, and incense as offerings for the Hindu gods. As these offerings are put out, the Balinese lightly splash water all around their business symbolic of cleansing the space. Here's an article with more photos and explanation behind the Balinese Canang Sari. It's been a beautiful sight to catch during my morning croissant commutes. I'm definitely certain that this meditative practice is an integral part of why the Balinese are so kind, happy, and mindful.

In the video this week, I share a raw and emotional video from my meditation retreat in Thailand. Many of you are aware that I had left mid-retreat, but I also recorded a video secretly in my room after an extremely upsetting incident. This journey is not all rainbows and butterflies. Looking back, I was very emotional after realizing that sexism and close-mindedness pervaded all the way to my meditation retreat in Thailand.

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Why We Love Distractions

Chris Bailey, author of Hyperfocus (3.9 on Goodreads), recently spoke at TED on why we are distracted and how to become more focused in our lives.

In summary, we love our dopamine (happiness neurotransmitter) hits primarily fueled by our phones. By taking this stimulus away, we can allow our minds to wander and ultimately become more creative. There's so much more to the video and I definitely did not do it justice with my summary.

If you like this video, I highly recommend his book Hyperfocus. The strategies he proposes (hyperfocus, scatterfocus) is a really interesting perspective on how to structure our work. (Hyperfocus: laser-focused time to work. Scatterfocus: opportunity to be distracted and to be creative. Using both of these techniques throughout the day depending on the tasks and goals of what we are trying to accomplish.)

Why We Procrastinate

As an avid procrastinator (unfortunately), I love to study this phenomenon. I love the way this article looks at why we procrastinate: "Procrastination is an emotion regulation problem, not a time management problem"

It is a fact that we repair our mood with short-term gains. Think: ice cream on a stressful day. Procrastination pleases us similar to a fresh pint of cold cream. We try to break tasks down, reduce roadblocks, manage our time more effectively, but fail to recognize the underlying emotions. Procrastination that is fueled by low self-esteem, wavering self-confidence, lack of self-compassion can only be resolved with deeper self-work.

Really interesting thoughts on a very common problem.

Plethora of Book Recommendations

Barbara Oakley, author of Learning How to Learn (4.44 on Goodreads), compiled a list of her favorite books in self-help, fiction, history, and more. I discovered her through her extremely popular online course, Learning How to Learn (which I loved) and many of her recommendations in this list are spot-on.

I've found that Goodreads generally has a good rating system for books (unlike Amazon nowadays). Anything above a 4.0 is something worth checking out, and above 4.4 is pretty rare. (Disclaimer: Learning How to Learn is mostly geared towards teens and young adults, but an easy read with great insights on how to learn/memorize)

As always, thanks for reading!

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Have a beautiful day!

Metta (loving-kindness),
Steven

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