Finishing up my last meditation retreat with the biggest revelation
Thoughts on my meditation retreat in UK, our emotions monetized, and why we should eat more dirt
Hi friend!
A little late, but I just finished my last meditation retreat at Dhamma Dipa Vipassana Centre on Sunday and now catching up on my digital life in London.
The last retreat was bittersweet. It was my sixth and last meditation retreat around the world, and I am so grateful to have made this journey. I walk away from this experience forever changed. This was an idea that I had in my mind less than a year ago, and it's hard to believe that it is all ending in just two months. All the planning that went into the schedule, all the long days working on my content, all the tears, all the learnings, and all of the long hours spent sitting on a cushion will be with me for life.
On this retreat, I had one of the biggest revelations about myself.
For so long, I've been stuck in the future. Especially as an A-type perfectionist, my focus has always been on what's next. From projects to food, everything has been meticulously planned, because this was how I coped.
My childhood was tumultuous, and I did not have a lot growing up, especially after my father passed. I would daydream about the future when things would be different and scribble ideas into my calendar and agenda.
I was teased and tormented relentlessly even up to my senior year of high school. Growing up gay in a conservative neighborhood was not easy. (Thanks karma) It was planning the next day that got me through the rough days.
As I dug deep into myself during a meditation session at Dhamma Dipa, trying to be as present as I could, I felt a deep tremble within myself. It was the anxiety and fear of opening up to the idea: "who would I be without this future?". Then, it hit me.
Living in the future was hurting me now more than it was helping me cope. I recalled memories of me nagging my friends and family with unsolicited advice. I remembered all of my side projects that were all stuck in the ideation phase. I reflected on my difficulties at work when things didn't align with my roadmap.
Accepting the present is to be at peace with what we have, letting go of the future fantasy. It is being content with our bodies at this very second and embracing our health in its current condition. It is accepting our work as if it were our last. It is being in love with our lives in its current state.
Only the present self does the work for us. The future is just a vision and never guaranteed. Realizing this transformed the way that I am now divvying up my day-to-day.
In the video this week, I talk about an article my friend sent me recently. It was a long and controversial article published in The Guardian about the capitalism and detrimental impact of mindfulness in the west.
In my opinion, the mindfulness movement is just in its infant stages. It is too early to judge, and we have yet to see products and apps that provide deeper insight and practice for the masses. Once mindfulness and meditation become a staple within the American lifestyle, we will see rapid advancements similar to what we see in diet and fitness today. It was only 20 years ago that we popularized the Atkin's diet (low-carb weight loss).
Hope you are all doing so well and cheers to closing out this incredible journey!
Emotion is the New Currency
Have you ever noticed that Spotify playlist keep getting better and better? Perhaps it's also due to the data you are inadvertently providing to them. Spotify is quantifying mood and emotional data for its advertising platform, and a look at what they're doing with it is only a snippet of what's to come from other companies in the next few years in this field.
Drip Project Management
Instead of thinking of batching all your requests in a single email, run them in in series with highest priority item first.
Eat... Dirt?
Read Eat Dirt by Josh Axe on my way to my Vipassana retreat, and it provides a lot of insights into the disease that sent me to the hospital: leaky gut. If you are suffering from autoimmune disorders that seem to be getting worse, experiencing bloating after every meal, or having consistent poor stools, you might want to get leaky gut checked.
We rarely talk about digestive issues, and it goes untreated for most of our lives. This book is an excellent summary of the research I've gone through over the past year and provides valuable tips on eating and digestion.
Quote I Love
"Your assumptions are your windows on the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won't come in." -Isaac Asimov
As always, thanks for reading!
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Have a beautiful day!
Metta (loving-kindness),
Steven
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